Once upon a time I joined Facebook as a way to stay up-to-date on my {then} 13-year-old niece's life. After I took the plunge I was hooked. I enjoyed adding pictures, posting updates and the occasional "stalking" of past friends and acquaintances. But somewhere along the way it became a way for me to settle into a state of constant comparison and judgment. It became a temptation for me to find ways of why my life didn't measure up; why I had every reason in the world to be miserable. And I know for most people this probably doesn't make sense, but we all have our personal demons to tend too.
I briefly deactivated my account, but then changed my mind. Instead, I am going to be on it less frequently and for very short periods of time. I recently became "friends" with relatives on both sides of our families and it's a good way to keep in touch. And of course there are the college friends that all live in other states that I can stay up-to-date on and people from high school. But I need to take a purposeful step back to re-evaluate what's important to me {hello, reality check!} and gain some perspective. I want to be unequivocally happy for people whatever the reason. I want to be secure in my own life and recognize how lucky I am instead of focusing on what I don't have but wished I did {and most of the time, I do succeed in that line of thought...the lucky part that is}.
Do you ever struggle with what I described above? I have been told that even if my life was exactly the way I wanted {or thought I wanted} it to be, I would still find something to be unhappy about. I believe that to be true; I have always looked to the next thing to make me happy. To fulfill me. Well, here's to embracing my life just as it is...bumps, bruises, wrong turns and all! C'est la vie!
1 comment:
I realized you had been very very quiet and was going to write on yr wall and see how you were doing. Glad I checked here first!! I can totally understand why you would want to deactivate it. It can be such a time suck, and if you throw in other negative thoughts, that makes a lot of sense.
Hope you, Doug, and Audrey are doing well!
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