Irony

I have been thinking these days that maybe I am supposed to be learning lessons through Audrey.  You know, lessons that God has been trying to teach me, um, for what seems like forever.  I've always felt I lacked patience and I am too independent for my own good.  Read: I get irritated easily and think I can do everything by myself. 

Audrey has entered into a tricky stage.  One that I know is completely normal, but sometimes I wonder if she's on the higher end of the spectrum of "normal".  I am sure all parents feel that at some point or another and with nothing really to gauge said spectrum, other than my own experiences, I will have to continue with my theory until proven otherwise.  She is fiercely independent.  She gets mad at us if we try to assist her with pretty much anything these days.  We have to bribe coax her into doing said things {luckily for us it's as easy as Doug saying, "Audrey please take a bite and you can touch my elbow"}.  Weird, but it works.

Hand-in-hand with said independence is the lack of patience.  She wants what she wants now.  Didn't I get the memo?  How do you instill patience into an energetic, bouncing, leaping, running, fiercely independent toddler?  Especially when the mother {ahem, me} openly admits to lacking, wait for it, patience!  Sometimes in the midst of her tantrums it's as if I can imagine a different scene.  One where I am the screaming toddler throwing a fit {actually, that's not too far off} and God is patiently waiting for me to finish and gently nudging me.  How many times has this played out?  How many times do I list off what I want or anger over what I don't have?  How often do I say, I don't need your help!  I can do this myself!  Too often.  I am ashamed to admit that.

I have been praying more throughout my day...Lord, help me to view Audrey as you view me.  Help me to love her as you love.  Help me to bite my tongue and curb my impatience so that I can lead by example.  This is easier said than done.  And I am pretty sure I pray this prayer all stinkin' day.  But I will continue to pray it and I will continue to hope that I am a better person than I was.  That I am still learning myself.  And evolving.  It's never too late to become the person you always wanted to be.  I read that somewhere.  And I believe it.

Spunky.  Am I right?!?