Baby #2: Secret Posts

Excerpts from my journal... 

Thursday, 5 July 2012
"We have been trying for the past couple of months for baby #2.  I'd be lying if I didn't say I have been disappointed it hasn't happened yet.  It seemed so effortless with Audrey.  I am torn between "God's timing is perfect" {and it is} and "you don't deserve another child" {and that's why it hasn't happened}.  The more logical part of me understands 1) these things take time; 2) it happens when you least expect it; 3) God has a plan, although we cannot see the bigger picture I need to trust Him!"

Sunday, 22 July 2012 {negative result}
"I took a pregnancy test this morning convinced I was pregnant.  It was negative.  Of course they recommend you test the day of your expected period, but that is still 3-4 days away and I couldn't wait.  I've been thinking about it CONSTANTLY...wondering...hoping.  There's still a chance, but I am no longer hopeful.  Every time thoughts about pregnancy these past few weeks have surfaced I've prayed.  This is real progress.  It may seem cruel, but maybe God is using this to get me to communicate/trust Him more?  And if He is, I guess I can't really fault Him...how long have I been M.I.A.?  Living in my world, doing things my way.  The truth is, I desire from the depth of my being to live a life completely dependent on God.  I am tired of trusting myself.  I am ready to unleash the burdens I carry.  And I suppose I am starting to learn what exactly that means."

Thursday, 26 July 2012 {positive result}
"I took another pregnancy test this morning.  I was supposed to get my period yesterday; it didn't come.  It didn't take long for the test to read: PREGNANT!  Luckily Doug was out walking the dogs, so he was able to hear the news face-to-face.  We laughed, we cried, we hugged, we laughed some more.  What a blessing!  Thank you, Jesus!!  I pray that You would watch over this little babe and protect them (him? her?), help them to grow and mature.  Please help us to trust in You completely."

Due date estimate: April 1, 2013

Friday, 27 July 2012 {4 1/2-ish weeks}
I interviewed for the Shift Supervisor position at Caribou today.  I was so nervous, but it couldn't have gone better.  My boss's boss loved me and told me I had the job.  Training is 4-6 weeks, but it will obviously be chopped up due to our vacation in just a couple of weeks.  Pregnancy-wise I feel great {despite the tiredness}.  I stopped drinking coffee and soda the minute I found out I was preggers.  I have not had any withdrawal...amazing.  After my interview I scoured the mall for a "I'm the big sister" t-shirt for Audrey.  After 4 stores, Baby Gap was the only one to carry such a shirt in her {petite} size.  We told our parents today and my sister, Shannon.  We'll tell our other immediate family members in the coming days and possibly our small group on Sunday. 

Monday, 30 July 2012 {5 weeks}
I continue to feel great, other than the chronic tiredness.  I have been napping when Audrey naps {for the most part}.  Working evenings is hard even with a nap during the day.  I am praying for endurance.  We told our small group last night {since, really, they are like our family}.  They are all very excited for us.  Over a year ago we started creating baby pools to see which couple would be next to have a baby.  We have all scored this year as it seems to be the year everyone is having kiddos!  We were #1 for another couple, so they were especially happy.  =)

Currently praying for: healthy pregnancy / baby; that I can breastfeed this time around; there has been talk about a promotion for Doug at work {it isn't set in stone, but we are hopeful}.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Lightly salted peanuts/almonds, chocolate milk and scrambled eggs with cheese and salsa are all the rage right now.  I am wondering if morning sickness is going to kick in next week or if I am going to luck out this time around.  Time will tell.  It still feels surreal.  Audrey kisses and hugs my tummy with such tenderness.  Already a great big sister.  I pray all goes smoothly; the worrier in me doesn't want to get too excited in case something goes wrong.  But then I am reminded to trust.  He has a plan...and it is good.

I am looking forward to hearing the heartbeat for the first time {most likely mid-September}; feeling baby move {was 19 weeks for Audrey}; and finding out the gender {boy? girl?} in early November.

We will re-do Audrey's room as well and figure out how we can fit another kiddo in there, plus a toddler bed.  So many exciting things to do to prepare for this little miracle!

August 5, 2012

Wednesday, 8 August 2012 {6 1/2 weeks}
Morning sickness {i.e. all-day nausea} has set in this week.  I was hoping to ignore it all together this time around.  With Audrey it only lasted until the end of the first trimester, maybe it'll be the same with this little nugget. I hope.

Monday, 20 August 2012 {8 weeks}
It was really hard traveling with a bun in the oven.  At least this early in the pregnancy.  Never mind it was the first time we went on such a trip with Audrey.  She was all out of sorts with sleeping at night and naps.  Not fun.  We missed our routine and I really missed sleep!  We are working to catch up on it all.  I have been feeling especially icky the past several days, maybe once we're all caught up on sleep and back into our routine things will be better.

Side note: I was so excited that I told Doug's grandparents we were expecting and by the next day the entire family knew.  I wasn't prepared to talk about it {or for everyone to know}; but, oh well.  It's happy news to share.

Crave-able foods: mashed potatoes {!}; peanut butter; saltine crackers; lemon; bananas; green beans

Indulging in comfort food: chicken & wild rice soup; mashed potatoes

Sharing "mommy's feeling sick" food :)

Wednesday, 5 September 2012 {10 weeks + 2 days}
Man oh man, the past couple of weeks have been rough.  Morning sickness all the time and then-some.  I haven't yakked at all, but that nagging feeling like I could any minute has been hanging around like a bad headache.  I had nausea with Audrey, but I remember it being less severe.  I would be able to eat something and it would keep it at bay; which resulted in me eating all of the time which resulted in gaining a ton of weight.  This time, even water {for awhile anyway} made my stomach turn, let alone the thought of food.  I ditched the lemon, it seemed to make it worse.  Mint {gum, toothpaste, mouthwash - no thank you} what worked before is definitely not working this time around.  Does that mean we're having a boy?  Confession:: I think we're all hoping for another girl...but, of course, we'll be happy no matter what.

I am not as worried about showing early this time around {it's inevitable with having already had a baby} and I am pretty sure if one didn't know, they would be able to guess by now.  I have a bit of a bump.  :)  Evidence of life growing inside of me; I can't argue with the beauty in that.  Just a couple more weeks until we get to hear that little thump thump thump of the heartbeat.  I cannot wait!  I am also hoping the nausea subsides in the next few weeks...please oh please oh please!  Doug said to me last week it doesn't seem like I am excited.  I am, I have just felt so miserable it's taking all my energy to get through it and take care of our active toddler.  There is also some anxiety about Audrey and how she will adjust {I know she will} and for me to be a good mom to two.  All normal feelings, I suppose.

Monday, 10 September 2012 {11 weeks}
We actually went in for our first midwife appointment today.  I had my first {nurse education} appointment last week, where they draw blood and make you pee in a cup; and she indicated the midwives would start seeing me any time after 10 weeks, so I went ahead and made the appointment for 11 weeks.  I was just too stinkin' excited to hear that little heartbeat.  Unfortunately the midwife wasn't able to hear anything on the Doppler {"nothing to be concerned about," she said, "it's still early.  But we'll want to do an ultrasound in the next couple of days just to be sure everything is as it should be."}  With Audrey we only got the one standard ultrasound at 20 weeks because I know my schedule and I knew when I got pregnant.  Much like this time around, but with the lack of heartbeat...they wanted to be sure.  As luck would have it {thank you, Jesus!} we were able to get in right away for the ultrasound {i.e. we went from one office to the next}.  The first thing the tech said was, "oh, looks like we have a mover here!" to which Doug and I just looked at each other and smiled.  Another one.  We heard that quite often about Audrey in the womb and wouldn't you know, she's like that outside of the womb too!  Heartbeat in the 170s, dates are on target {April 1st due date}...all is well.  I cried the moment baby came into view and I heard that little heartbeat.  We could actually see the little arms and legs moving around.  How awesome is that?!?  Next visit: 16 weeks.