So, December was crazy. Way more crazy than I remember any other December being. Maybe it's because Doug worked crazy long hours; or Audrey turned two, which meant there was a party to plan and throw and 2-year-old pictures to get taken; and then, of course, there was Christmas with family in town and events to attend and gifts to purchase and wrap. Oh and my 30th birthday, but that was no big deal. Pregnancy hormones certainly added to the stress of it all. Maybe two kids is enough for us. Maybe that's all we can handle. I am not ready to make that decision just yet, we'll see how it goes after this little babe is born...and where we feel God is leading us, but my mind has been wondering.
I cut back my hours at work...closing was proving to be too difficult for me with the physical labor required on top of the long/late hours. I will be working the opening Saturday shift for the foreseeable future. It's hard to admit being "useless" and even though I don't want to work, I am working for a reason {to help contribute financially to our expenses} so that has been a bit hard for me to accept as well.
There have been little things popping up all over the place...trying to steal my joy. My varicose veins {and those blasted nylons which I hate, hate, hate wearing}, my inability to work as much as I was, Audrey cutting back on her napping {sigh}, Doug working long hours {and, now, out-of-state traveling planned for later this month} and just being plain tired. Too often I let these little things win. It makes for a miserable mood. There are a couple of lines {lyrics} from different Francesca Battistelli {love her!} songs that I have been repeating over and over lately. First, "In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed" and "God is bigger than the times we fail". I wrap my mind around these little bits of encouragement and feel a little better.
We still haven't been able to celebrate my birthday with our usual date of dinner and a movie. And admittedly, I was disappointed to see that the movie I really wanted to see isn't offered in many {if any at this point} theaters anymore due to when it came out {mid-November?}. It's not the end of the world, but you know, it just makes me {selfishly} wonder when is it my turn? I've been feeling cooped up and shut out and alone. I know it'll happen. Eventually.
On the plus side, I think my parents are going to be staying with me and Audrey {and the dogs} the two weeks that Doug will be out of town. I originally thought I'd be heading down their way, but being that I will be into my third trimester...I think I like the idea of them coming to me better. :o)
I don't really have resolutions this year...more of a prayer that I would continue to make progress on becoming a better wife to Doug and the kind of mother I want to be for my girls {girls!}. A strong example of love, compassion and Gods' saving grace.
I pray that you have a blessed 2013 as well, whatever your aspirations may be! Thank you for stopping by and checking in and for your encouragement. It's very much appreciated!
-Missy
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