A God Moment

So this week was tough.  Wait, they all seem to be with Doug gone.  I am over it.  Him being gone that is.  Have I said that before?  I am looking forward to him coming home and staying home for awhile.  I came across this quote via a friend on Facebook and thought it absolutely fitting:

"When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during the test."

This reminds me of the footprints poem - have you read it before?  My mom cross-stitched a beautiful picture along with the poem for me and it hangs in our bedroom.  It's an awesome reminder that God is there, carrying me when things get too much for me to bear.  And even when I feel alone, I am not.

Back to my "God Moment" from this week.  It was toward the end and I was exhausted, physically, mentally, spiritually.  Ready for it to be the weekend.  Ready for Doug to be home.  Feeling frustrated.  Beaten down.  I was in the kitchen baking {trying out a new whole wheat flour banana bread recipe}, while Audrey sat in her highchair gnawing on an apple and Pandora played some praise & worship music.  All morning I had been singing a line from the song, "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and thought, I would really like to hear that song right now. I just really need that encouragement and wouldn't you know - the very next song was just that.  It was amazing.  Immediately I got goose bumps, tears blurred my vision, and I felt this overwhelming sense of peace.  I leaned over to kiss Audrey's forehead and whispered, "I love you".  It was my mimicking what I felt God was doing to me in that moment.  Leaning over, kissing my forehead and saying, "I love you, Missy.  Here I am."  Even writing this takes me back to that feeling - amazing seems to be the only word I can use to describe it.

Thank you, Jesus.  For reminding me that you are there, even when I feel alone.  For not giving up on me, even when I give up on myself.  For trusting me with Audrey and answering my prayer by making me a mom.  Help me to focus on your blessings, rather than the desires of my heart.  Thank you for your patience and loving-kindness toward me.  I do not deserve it, but you give it anyway.